How to deal with a martial arts gym bully

If you’ve trained martial arts for a while, then the chances are you’ll have bumped into a gym bully at some point. A gym bully is a term used in martial arts to describe someone that bullies lesser-skilled training partners during sparring. Sadly, if you’re getting bullied during sparring then this isn’t nice – and even worse, it can be dangerous to your health if you end up getting knocked out or badly hurt.

Thankfully, gym bullies aren’t too common but they do exist. Whilst they can be problematic, they can be dealt with too. There are a few ways to deal with gym bullies and as long as you’re smart then you should be ok.

What is a gym bully?

A gym bully is someone who spars too hard and picks on easier targets during training. For example, in a boxing gym then a bully could prey on new students and hit them with real force. This is different from normal sparring, where there’s less intent in the striking. Similarly, a gym bully in a BJJ gym could go after newbies and hold submissions or take pleasure in crushing them.

Often, gym bullies mirror bullies in real life. For instance, they’re usually not the best people in the gym, and as a result, they have an ego and chip on their shoulders. As a result, they take this out on easier targets. For instance, a BJJ blue belt may get frustrated by losing in sparring to black belts and more experienced practitioners. So, they go after white belts to prove a point. As petty as this sounds, it does go on and ironically, often gym bullies are quite cowardly and will dodge harder practitioners.

Befriend the gym enforcer to teach them a lesson

In many martial arts gyms, there’s an enforcer who is there to put people in line. These are typically people that have trained for years and know the gym’s culture whilst also being technically gifted. Sometimes, a gym enforcer may not look particularly intimidating, but when it comes to fighting they’re more than capable.

Sometimes, it’s an unwritten rule that these people enforce bad behavior, whilst in other cases, they’re actively told to put their foot down on potential gym bullies. This may sound like playground rules but remember – dojos can get pretty political at times. Basically, if you can get talking to the gym enforcer then they may be able to step in.

Usually enforcing takes place when someone is picking on weaker students, such as smaller newcomers, women, or teens. Often an enforcer will specifically tell the offender to check their behavior after sparring, or at least they’ll relentlessly defeat them into submission. Sadly, if the offender isn’t specifically told then they may keep re-offending. Some people are naturally unaware and just don’t get it. Still, this method can legitimately lead to gym bullies improving their behavior, especially if they’re genuinely unaware of gym etiquette.

Tell them to stop

Perhaps the best way to stop a gym bully is to literally tell them how you feel. Although this may sound like common sense, sometimes in dojos people don’t really express their feelings, especially if it’s a macho environment. If they’re a reasonable person then they may see the error of their ways and tone it down.

If they refuse to change, then you should tell them that you won’t spar with them. Whilst this may seem a little awkward at first, this is probably the best policy compared to getting bullied in sparring. At some point, if you refuse to spar them, you won’t go near each other which is probably for the best. Overall, this way is better than trying to save face at the expense of getting hurt.

Remember, if you refuse to spar with them then they can’t literally force you to spar. As long as you speak to them in a polite, adult manner then there should be no real issues. If they respond badly then it’s best to talk to the gym owner, which brings us to our next course of action.

Get better then punish them for it

This method sounds like it’s from the Karate Kid movies, but it can work. Obviously, if your gym bully is years deeper than you then it may be difficult to achieve this. However, if they’ve been training for a few more months than yourself then they’re definitely catchable. Of course, there are other factors too such as size and strength – but these can be improved upon too.

Ultimately, it depends on how much time and effort you want to put into improving your skills. Still, if you’re dedicated enough and have time then you can improve quicker. Let’s say the bully trains twice per week but you start training five times per week – then eventually you will overtake them. When this happens, it’s up to you to punish them for their behavior or to show mercy.

What’s worth noting though, is that getting to a point where you overtake the gym bully can take time. Unlike the movies, this won’t be done in days or weeks. Sometimes, it’s more like months or years.

Talk to the gym owner

Another good way of stopping a gym bully is by talking to the gym owner. Again, in an ideal world, they will stop their behavior quickly by threatening to kick them out. Often, this will swiftly solve the problem. However, in some cases certain gym owners either won’t care or won’t feel comfortable talking about it. Although it’s ultimately their job to deal with and solve issues like this, sometimes gym owners can lack the initiative or the right communication skills to deal with drama.

Interestingly, the reaction of the gym owner should tell you a lot about them and their practices. Basically, if they don’t do anything then it’s quite telling and you may want to think about training elsewhere. In short, if they can’t be bothered to protect their own students or offer a professional environment – then there’s no point in being loyal to them.

At the end of the day, you’re a paying customer so you can always leave. In most cases, talking to the owner may be the best solution and should solve things. However, gyms can be political and if they’re friendly with the gym bully then it may not get solved. The next step from here would be to leave the gym.

Leave the gym

As mentioned, in some cases a gym bully issue can’t be solved. Although this is rare, it can happen. For example – you could train in a place where the owner themselves is a bully. Similarly, the best person in the room could have anger issues and take it out during sparring. Whilst some people may put up with this behavior, you don’t have to.

Remember, life is short and there’s no point in training in an environment that you don’t like. So, if you feel that the problem can’t be solved by any of the above methods then you may as well quit. The good news is that in this day and age, there are plenty of other gyms to choose from so you probably won’t be losing out on anything.